With the winter football season fast approaching, I thought it would be a good time to remind you, as a parent, of the crucial role you play in your child’s development, not only as an athlete, but psychosocially. If you want your child to come out of the season having had a positive experience, you have a vital role to play. You are a critical element of the coach/athlete/parent team. If you play your part properly, your child will develop more quickly, have more fun and will have enhanced his or her self esteem as a result. If you ‘drop the ball’ so to speak, your child will stop learning, have a negative experience and will begin to hate the sport as a result.
As a coach I need you, as a parent, to play your part; we can’t succeed without your help. Below is your game plan to becoming a winning parent:
DON’T DEFINE SUCCESS AND FAILURE IN TERMS OF WINNING AND LOSING
If your child performs to the best of their ability and loses, it is criminal to focus on the outcome and be critical. On the flip side, if your child or team performs below par and wins, it is also folly to celebrate. Help your child see this important separation between success and failure and winning and losing.
BE SUPPORTIVE, DON’T COACH!
Your role on the coach/athlete/parent team is as a ‘support’ player. You need to be your child’s biggest fan. By all means encourage, cheer and support, but please leave the coaching to the coach. The last thing your child needs and wants to hear from you after a disappointing performance or loss is what they did technically or tactically wrong. This point can’t be stressed enough.
HELP MAKE THE SPORT FUN FOR YOUR CHILD
It’s a proven principle of high performance that the more fun an athlete is having, the more they will learn and the better they will perform. Fun must be present for high performance to happen at every level of sports from youth to world class competition. When a child stops having fun and begins to dread practice or competition, it’s time for you as a parent to become concerned! If your child is not enjoying what they are doing, or loving the heck out of it, investigate! What is going on that’s preventing them from having fun? The pressure? Is it you?
YOUR CHILD IS NOT THEIR PERFORMANCE – LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY
Do not equate your child’s self-worth and lovability with their performance. The most tragic and damaging mistake parents continually make is punishing a child for a bad performance by withdrawing emotionally from them.
STRESS THE PROCESS, NOT THE OUTCOME
When athletes choke under pressure and perform far below their potential, a very common cause of this is a focus on the outcome of the performance (ie win/lose, instead of the process). So if you truly want your child to win, help get their focus away from how important the result is and have them focus on the process. Effective parents de-emphasise winning and instead stress practicing skills and playing the game to the best of their ability.
Thanks great advise… cheers looking forward to kick off..
Jac is so excited never seen him like this… its going to be a big one.