Hi and welcome back for term 2.
Here is some food for thought from my last blogs about anxiety and stress on our young football and tennis players. It’s a list of 12 good points that you can discuss with them anytime.
1) Encourage your child to face his/her fears, not run away from them.
When we are afraid of situations we avoid them, however, avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations maintains the anxiety. If, however, a child faces his or her fears they will discover that the anxiety reduces naturally on its own over time. The body cannot remain anxious for a very long period of time so it has an inbuilt calming system. Usually anxiety will reduce within 20-45 minutes if you stay in the anxiety-provoking situation.
2) Tell your child that it is okay to be imperfect.
Often parents feel it is necessary for children to succeed in sports, college and all performance situations. Sometimes we forget that kids need to be kids. School becomes driven by grades, not the enjoyment of learning, if an 85 is good but not good enough. This is not to say that striving is not important – it is important to encourage your child to work hard but equally important to accept and embrace your child’s mistakes and imperfections.
3) Focus on the positives.
Anxious and stressed children often get lost in negative thoughts and self-criticism. They may focus on how the glass is half empty instead of half-full and worry about future events. The more you are able to focus on your child’s positive attributes and the good aspects of a situation, the more your child will remember to focus on the positives.
4) Schedule relaxing activities.
Children need time to relax and be kids. Unfortunately, sometimes even fun activities, like sports, can become more about success than they are about fun. It is important to ensure that your child engages in play purely for the sake of fun. This may include scheduling time each day for your child to play with toys, play a game, play a sport (without it being competitive), do yoga, paint, have a tea party, put on a play, or just be silly.
5) Model approach behaviour, self-care and positive thinking.
Your child will do what you do. So if you avoid anxiety-provoking situations, so will your child. If you face your fears, so will your child. If you take care of yourself and schedule time for your own needs, your child will learn that self-care is an important part of life. If you look for the positive in situations, so will your child. Children learn behaviours from watching their parents. So when you think about your child’s psychological well-being think about your own as well.
6) Reward your child’s brave behaviours.
When your child faces his or her fears, reward this behaviour with praise, a hug, or even something tangible like a sticker or a small treat. This is not bribery as long as you establish this as a motivator prior to your child being in the situation. If you reward behaviours, your child will engage in them more often.
7) Encourage good sleep hygiene.
Set a bedtime for your child and stick to that bedtime even on weekends. Introduce a 30-45 minute bedtime routine that is completed every night. This helps your child to transition from the activities of the day to the relaxed state necessary to fall asleep.
8) Encourage your child to express his/her anxiety.
If your child says he or she is worried or scared, don’t say “No you’re not!” or “You’re fine.” Such responses don’t help your child, instead, they are likely to make your child believe that you don’t listen or understand them. Instead, validate your child’s experience by saying things like, “Yes, you seem scared. What are you worried about?” then have a discussion about your child’s emotions and fears.
9) Help your child to problem solve.
Once you have validated your child’s emotions and demonstrated that you are listening and understand their experience, help your child to problem solve. This does not mean solving the problem for your child. It means helping your child to identify possible solutions. If your child can generate solutions, that is great. If not, generate some potential solutions and ask your child to pick the solution that he or she thinks would work best.
10) Stay calm.
Children look to their parents to determine how to react in situations. We’ve all seen a young child trip and fall and then look to their parent for a signal as to how to react. If the parent seems concerned, the child cries. Children of all ages pick up on their parent’s emotions and resonate with them. If you are anxious, your child will pick up on that anxiety and experience an increase in his/her own anxiety. So when you want to reduce your child’s anxiety, you must manage your own anxiety. This may mean deliberately slowing down your own speech, taking a few deep breaths to relax, and working to ensure that your facial expression conveys that you are calm.
11) Practice relaxation exercises with your child.
Sometimes really basic relaxation exercises are necessary to help your child to reduce their stress and anxiety. This might mean telling your child to take a few slow, deep breaths (and you taking a few slow breaths with them so they can match your pace). Or it might mean asking your child to image him/herself somewhere relaxing, like the beach or lying in a backyard hammock. Ask your child to close his/her eyes and imagine the sounds, smells, and sensations associated with the image, for example, close your eyes and picture yourself on a beach. Listen to the sound of the surf as the waves come in and go out. In and out. Listen to the sound of the seagulls flying off in the distance. Now focus on the feel of the warm sand beneath your fingers and the sun warming your skin.Your child can do these techniques on his or her own during anxiety-provoking times.
12) Never give up!
Anxiety and stress can be a chronic struggle and often the source of a child’s anxiety changes over time so it can feel as though you are always putting out fires. With repetition of the anxiety and stress management techniques, your child will learn how to lower his/her anxiety level and to cope with anxiety-provoking situations. The key is repetition, so keep it up!
Regards
Daegal Richardson
I think this blog is about how to help children in stress playing sport great blog daegal
Thx daegal I will try some of those tips to help me relax for my anxiety.
Lachie R
Thanks Daegal this is about children stressing when playing a sport
I think this blog is about helping children with there problems in the sport they play great blog daegal
I think this blog is about how to help children
With there problems and stress in the sport
They play.
Thanks
Daedal
I think this blog is about helping children with tips on how to feel better when they are feeling stressed out. when they are playing sports.
I think this blog is about stress and anxiety thanks Daegel this is a good blog
I think this blog is about parents helping their children through stress and anxiety.
Thanks Daegal.
It is definetly ok to be imperfect and never give up
I think this blog is about your parents helping through stress and anxiety. Thank Daegal great blog
Think this blog is about helping your parents with anxiety and stress thanks Daegal
thanks Daegal for the tips on how to help your anxiety and that know one’s perfect and it’s important to accept that and never give up.
Thanks Daegal
I think the blog is about helping kids with anxiety or to help them when they feel anxious Thanks Daegal. Great blog
I definitely agree with the but about having more time to play and being silly! I’m a bit stressed I didn’t read this by our due date?!! From Ethan
this blog is to help us in ways to be better
thanks daegal :0