What do you tell children about sports participation? Do your children tell you how they feel about their sport before or after a game or match? Do they let you know about any stresses, frustrations and expectations that come with participation? Do they play with fear?
In my last blog I wrote about making mistakes, for me, one of the best ways we can learn. We also need to be mindful of some of the anxiety and stresses we can put onto our children.
A child’s emotional life may not be addressed by coaches, parents or peers. It can be a neglected, if not suppressed, area. It does, however, directly affect a child’s success and satisfaction throughout their sporting career.
As parents we have great influence over how our children interact with their coaches and other players. Our children are aware of our perceptions and beliefs regarding their coach, team mates and opposition and these often guide their own thoughts and actions.
Of the various methods we use in coach education, self reflection is one I use the most. I’m a father of five with three children playing sport. I’m often asking them how they feel they played, what they felt was a good achievement or objective met and what did they feel they could work on to improve.
I find talking about problems and discussing solutions on the coaching field works great and adopting that same approach with my kids has helped them be more settled and focused when they play. They are not always perfect but who is?
My objective as a parent is to provide a thorough support system so my kids can withstand the physical, mental and emotional demands of their sport. I want to help them identify problems, talk about them to find solutions and enable them to confront any fears that will delay this process and turn into poor confidence.
When we begin to play sport, we play it quite simply for the enjoyment playing brings. What I’m trying to say is, it’s about them, and only them. As such, we need to help them to be sure it’s about their optimised self (thanks Brad). The child can truly fulfil their potential with great people around them.
Too many parents and coaches are more interested in seeing their kids win a game…even at a very young age….and their education in the sport suffers.
“Did you have fun” should always be question one after a game.
After that, questions on how the child thinks they played, and the things they did well should be addressed.