I love to win. Ever since I was young, that ‘will to win’ and craving ‘to be the best’ has driven me (and sometimes haunted me) to my achievements as a player and in life.
As a young, country girl, competing against my big brother in the backyard, I didn’t see gender or the age difference as an issue. I needed to win. End of. And many a time it meant our games finished with me throwing a tantrum and leaving in tears if I didn’t come out on top. My mother tells me after losing a football game one day, on the drive home, she tried to sensitively enlighten me on the importance of learning to lose before you can learn to win. Great concept I can see now. As a 10 year old? The strange look she received to that idea, told her ‘losing’ wasn’t in my vocabulary yet.
It’s interesting now as I enter into my next phase of coaching. I’ve had enough experience with different age groups and levels to start pinpointing where I want to focus and strengthen my expertise in coaching. I initially thought I’d be heading to the top levels – the Matildas, W-League, A-League even! Taking teams to the top. Striving to win.
Interestingly enough, it’s a particular feeling that I cannot shift that is my guide to knowing where I want to coach at this time…
I don’t care about winning.
Well, that’s only half the truth. Of course I love to win. But it’s more that I don’t care about the result as much as about the performance itself. Hopefully the result is a fair measure of the performance. The score may go either way. I reflect on the more important details. Have the players given a total effort and focus to their task? Did we dominate in possession to set up goal scoring opportunities? Were we purposeful towards the team plan and each player action? Where the execution may not yet be consistent, the attitude and intent behind the performance can show potential for what’s to come. I’m fulfilled, not when we win, but when the players makes a successful action. My disappointments are not in losing but when a training session may go to waste.
Yes, I am a development coach.
Joey
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